Reem Raouda is one of the world’s foremost authorities on conscious parenting. She’s done some pretty amazing stuff to figure out how parent-child relationships actually function. In the pages that follow this deep, yet expansive, qualitative study with over 200 families, Raouda showcases emotional safety as a pillar of the parenting experience. Her recent work, FOUNDATIONS, serves as a healing journal. It supports parents in breaking cycles of reactivity and in creating the kind of supportive, consistent environment their children need to thrive.
Raouda is clear that misbehavior does not equal disrespect. Rather, she sees it as a mode of expression. To this end, she calls on parents to view their children’s behaviors as cries for help rather than invitations for punishment. This lens is incredibly important to approach the work of creating these emotionally safe environments where children are seen, cared for, and understood.
The Importance of Emotional Safety
Emotionally safe parents of kids who misbehave often respond to their misbehavior with curiosity, Raouda explains. They begin by asking themselves, “What is their behavior communicating? What is their behavior saying?” This change in perspective allows moms and dads to react with intention instead of impulse.
When parents understand that misbehavior usually happens because a child has a need or an emotional state, caregivers can better provide loving care. Raouda then explains, “You have to understand what went wrong. Asking this question fosters honest conversation and allows kids to express how they’re feeling rather than lash out.
In addition to this, Raouda argues that it’s critical for parents to do their own internal work. Whether it’s through journaling, therapy, or mindfulness practices, parents can learn to be less reactive. This self-reflection gives them the ability to be empathetic and understanding when their children express big feelings.
FOUNDATIONS: A Healing Journal for Parents
Yet FOUNDATIONS is much more than a journal. It acts as an amazing tool for parents, allowing them to create more meaningful relationships with their kids. Raouda’s work invites parents to consider their own childhood experiences, emotional triggers, and the impact of those feelings on how they communicate. When they do, they can better tailor their reactions to their kids’ actions.
The journal prompts parents to consider questions such as, “What were you feeling when that happened?” and “I understand you’re upset, but the answer is still no.” These reflective exercises can help home visitors develop a deeper understanding of parental and child emotions.
Raouda wants to make sure that parents know being held accountable is a crucial component of being an effective parent. She often reminds parents that it is okay to acknowledge mistakes: “I shouldn’t have yelled. That wasn’t okay, and I’m sorry.” These kinds of admissions model a safe and healthy way to express emotion and take accountability that children can learn from.
Encouraging Supportive Communication
A big part of Raouda’s overall philosophy is based on the concept of positive communication. She urges parents to send the message that children’s feelings are completely valid, but there still need to be boundaries. For instance, she suggests saying, “You’re frustrated this isn’t going your way,” which helps children feel understood even amidst disappointment.
Raouda promotes techniques for calming heightened emotions, such as deep breathing: “Let’s take a few deep breaths together, then we can talk about what happened.” Fostering an inclusive atmosphere is a better way to deescalate. Besides providing children with a fun activity, art education helps them develop important coping skills they will carry into adulthood.
The mission of FOUNDATIONS is to set parents on the path to becoming their child’s greatest emotionally safe adult. It is not just about ending cycles of despair and developing resilience through knowledge and compassion.
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